Tag Archives: Blog

Things I Don’t Understand

Yesterday I went to an all day training session of a condensed 1-day version of a 2-day course. 14 hours of ideas distilled and infused in 8 hours. This type of activity hurts old brain cells like mine.

I did get this one thing from the course: if it is undefined you cannot control it; if you cannot control it you cannot measure it; if you cannot measure it you cannot improve it. That I understood.

Something else I cannot understand is why my post yesterday received more views than my posts from the day before. It seems the less I say the more I am viewed. So if I say nothing my audience will be infinite. Now I know that isn’t true because generally I say nothing and my audience is not yet infinite. So there must be a very specific nothing I need to encapsulate and distill that will attract all the world to me like honey bees to flowers.

I also do not understand the following in no particular order at all:

  • First Person Shooter Video games. They bore me after 10 minutes. Perhaps I am doing it wrong.
  • Most popular RAP music. I should correct that to add “current”. Hey kids it has all be done before and the louder you shout the less sense you make. But then you aren’t speaking to me anyway.
  • Sex. Now don’t get me wrong I enjoy the sensations just it is such an oddly evolved process. Really evolution this is the best you could come up with? Perhaps I am doing it wrong.
  • Gravity.
  • Getting old. The last two go together since I think gravity accelerates the getting old process. Or maybe getting old makes me more aware of gravity. See now I am getting grave…
  • How many angels can dance on the head of a pin.
  • Why redheads are so damn sexy even with all those freckles. Or rather especially. I just want to play connect the dots all over from neck to toe and back again. With my tongue. Is that a fetish?
  • The world – perhaps I am doing it wrong?
  • me

I think that about covers the confusion I have. If anyone can explain any of it (in 140 characters or less…but why 140?)

Off to work I go – why exactly I am not sure but that is the way it is!

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Nothing to Say in any Way

Really…

666 Followers

I just made 666 followers for this BLOG.

There is something oddly disturbing about that number – not sure why it seems that way!

So hello to all my followers out there in BLOG land! Please do stop by and say hello as you wander by in the blogging landscape. I am humbled that  anyone is following me at all – to have 666 is just rather mind-blowing!

Thanks!

April Fools

Today is April First – and well that means it is April Fools. The time to play tricks and jokes on unsuspecting folks.

Happy April Fools day! And as some of you quickly caught on – nah I’m not going anywhere just yet!. I have more silliness inside me to share and impose on those that chose to wander by and browse my pages. You may have noticed I tagged Last Post as “humor” of course my sense of humor may have taken a couple too many left turns!

The”Thank you” part to all of you for reading is real. I appreciate all of you for dropping by and letting me know you have dropped by to read.

 

Last Post

Well it has been fun folks! Time to pack it in and move on to other things.

Thanks for reading and visiting over the last year.

Nothing to see

What do you think you are doing?
Move along…go…shoo

my brain is offline.
Haiku tomorrow.

Cheesecake

At La Voute in Archway - highly recommended - ...

warm moist explosion
softly dancing on my tongue
fresh ripe tart delight.

Stillness

filtered sun
tickling walls
sliding into shadow
as the world settles
into a dusky stillness
ending my book reading
while my cat purrs
nestled beside
content

Day One…

Once around the sun
now back again
here it ends
then starts anew
a single quantum flux
holding infinite states
and potential

Finish Line: Freedom and Success

Now I am off the hook!

365 days later here we are. On March 25, 2012 I started my post-a-day journey. And I managed to actually post at least one new item each day – some days even two! Quality did vary. Word totals did vary. Sometimes what I posted was actually worth reading, and sometimes what I posted was a verbal embarrassment.

I did learn the following in that time:

  • Less is more. Keeping my posts shorter often resulted in more visitors. 
  • Writing is easy – writing well is hard!
  • I write well – but I could write better if I took the time
  • I am not fun to read – in fact I am mostly dense. Not a good blogger trait.
  • I shouldn’t quit my day job to become a full time writer!

When I started posting I had visions of 100-200 views per day. I worked hard to build up an audience following the WordPress tips and tricks for driving views and engagement. I visited other sites, followed other sites, commented, liked, browsed, and whatever else I needed to do to get people dropping by and “clicking”.

It was initially addictive watching the views creep up from 5 per day to 10 per day until I was getting close to 150 views per day at my peak of audience success. It is a lot of work to keep that interest up, and the views flowing through. I would spend at least an hour each day doing my blogging rounds and making sure I left a footprint to lure others back to see what I was writing and posting. Heady and exciting stuff – I felt like I had an audience.

July was the high-point in this blogging experiment for views, and was taking even more time.   Yet it seemed worth it for the feedback and interplay and sense of achievement. Then I went on vacation for two weeks in August to an “internet free zone.”  I was still posting every day – but I couldn’t browse and visit and poke and tickle other bloggers. My views and visit fell off the cliff.

The reality was I had no real audience, what I had achieved from March to July was an illusion of success. The bloggers I visited where mostly playing the same game I was playing – driving the numbers by leaving virtual bread-crumbs to lure others back to my site. My words were not the lure – it was my statistic they desired. When I stopped visiting them – they forgot I even existed. POP – blogger bubble burst.

When I resumed my blogging house-calls and blogging rounds my numbers bounced back in September. And that took the wind out of my sails.  Cause well you see that confirmed people were not reading me because I was enjoyable to read, or memorable. They mostly visited out of guilt, and need. (Yes I know some of you are reading me because you enjoy my posts – Thank You!)

SO now I am all done with that….relief!

Now what?

I will still post and still visit the blogs I most enjoy – you know who you are as I still visit you now and then and leave a “like” or some words in passing. Not very often cause well there are other things that take my time. What I may try and do are more themed posts on certain days of the week. Like Saturday Haiku inspired by Haiku Heights. Maybe Monday Ramble, and Wednesday write about food/nutrition. Surprisingly one of my more popular posts is about the Acid/Alkaline Food Myth. Go figure!

I will also go back over my over 400 posts and re-read and weed them. I have done that a bit in the past month – and that is hard work! I wrote a lot of drivel and so going back now is pages and pages of work! Maybe I should just delete it all and start over again! That was a joke by the way – see even my humour is dense.

Oh and an aside why start on March 25 as my year of daily-blogging adventure?

March 25th in the Christian calendar is the traditional date for the Feast of the Annunciation. The Feast of the Annunciation marks the visit of the Angel Gabriel to Mary to announce the conception and eventual birth of Christ.  Gabriel appears and says to Mary, ‘Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with thee”  to which Mary responds to “Let it be done to me according to thy word”

Since conception is the beginning of creation – in some Christian countries March 25 was then seen as a New Year, and the official New Year would begin on that date. Enjoying small symbols I began my blog on an old school New Year’s day that was tied to an angelic “revelation.”  The Annunciation in turn then leads to the Feast of the Visitation (which in retrospect sets up the entire wanting blogging views/visits thing I wrote about earlier…symbols sometimes create reality!)

Now my blog certainly wasn’t ever that revealing, but it certainly had its moments of revelation!

Thank you for reading and visiting over the past year. Tomorrow a new year begins – and my journey continues. See ya around the blog-o-sphere!

 

Unusual Foods: Cock Flavoured Soup

The other day I was shopping at my local grocery store in the “International Foods” section of the store and I browsed past this food item. Later I looked it up on the internet and I love the description of the item:

“A spicy, chicken-flavoured soup mix, Grace Cock Soup Mix is quick to prepare and extremely versatile. Try thus piping hot soup as a between-meal snack or an appetizer – or as a base to add a spicy kick to your favourite soup recipes.

I kid you not...cock being a male chicken commonly called a rooster

I kid you not…cock being a male chicken commonly called a rooster

I am part of a weekend soup exchange – perhaps I should spice things up with a little Grace Cock Soup Mix. When people ask I can say – “well I started with a Cock Soup Mix base and added some spice to my recipe…no really it tastes like chicken!”

Oh the things that amuse me…

Only 77 Days Remaining…make a request!

It all began April 1st, 2012. A challenge to myself to write at least one blog post per day. And here I am 77 days away from that goal.

It has been easier than I thought it would be to post something each day. And harder to write something worthwhile on each day. Finding inspiration is actually fairly challenging. There are days when I scrap the bottom of the posting barrel and post some really and truly awful crap!

And other days the words just flow and I think – wow where the hell did they come from? Cause that cannot be my words and my writing and my thoughts organized in a coherent and readable format. No way.

Yet it is. Unbelievable-  as it is to me.

So here is my request to you my faithful blog readers – inspire me! Give me some suggestions. Tell me what you’d like to read, give me prompts, give me formats. Ask for an encore on something else I wrote. Command me!

Anything at all – fact, fiction, essay, poetry, snippet, snappet, cabbage or string. Or even a sonnet about some silly king! Here is your chance to be leap from the audience and be part of the choir. Ask for anything that you might desire.

Only 77 more days – and then perhaps I will write no more.

 

Side Lined

I wanted to be
front stage centre stage
caught in the spotlight
rising up to lofty height
showing of my inner fire
getting all I could desire

Yet here I am in the wings
not in the fucking rankings
shuffled off to the side
licking at my wounded pride

I could have been a contender
instead I’m another failure
adding to the recycling
another slice of nothing

side lined once again
yep way to go – amen!

Making Relish with Pizzazz!

Cucumbers (specifically, Gherkins) gathered fo...

September has arrived and with the waning of summer – harvest is upon us. In spite of the ridiculously hot dry weather we had across much of North America – there is still plenty of bounty to be picked and purchased at market stands across the country side. Cucumbers, beets, peppers, onions, and vegetables I had no idea existed!

Yesterday I drove up and visited my Mum. She is in her 80′s and still lives on her own, and manages her own home.  From my childhood, I remember when autumn arrived our kitchen would be filled with the odors of vinegar, sugar and spices. Dozens of jars would be gleaming on the counter. And bushels of cucumbers would be moving from cucumber status to full pickle designation.

Icicle Pickles, Mustard Pickles, Dill Pickles, Garlic Dill Pickles…jar after jar after jar. After the cucumbers would come the other vegetables for pickling including my favourite pickled vegetable: beets.

So I arrive at my Mum’s and what do I find? The scent of vinegar and sugar and spices filling her kitchen. She has a half-bushel of cucumbers well on there way to processing. She has been working on these cucumbers since the night before. At her age she doesn’t move as fast, and she finds she has to rest often. This has not stopped her from continuing her traditions.

Still I have to ask, “what are you doing?”

She looks sheepish and says, “Well I am canning of course – like I do every year.” Then she looks up – “…but it is so hard. It is good you are here you can help me finish.”

So I spent that afternoon with my Mum canning cucumbers – including about 4-quarts of relish!

This is her relish recipe:
6 large cucumbers (cut small, peeled with seeds removed)
1/4 cup salt
2 cups onions, chopped fine
3 cups vinegar
2 cups sugar
3 Tbsps. flour
1 Tbsp. dry mustard
1 Tbsp. tumeric
1 tsp. mustard seed
1 tsp. celery seed

Chop cucumbers and onions into small pieces.
mix together in a large pot with the salt.
Let sit overnight. Rinse salt off and drain.
Now add the other ingredients.
Bring to low boil and the let simmer for about an hour – so the cucumbers are soft but not mushy. Stir the relish often to keep the flour and sugar from sticking.
Ladle into sterilized jars leaving 1/2 from top, and then place lids on jars
Cover with towels to let slowly cool and lids will “pop” when sealed.

Now I had always just thought of these as my Mum’s pickles. But in discussions with a friend who enjoys canning and relish, my friend has mentioned something called “Lady Ashburnham Pickles
It turns out my Mum’s recipe is a variation on that very relish! The relish is both sweet and spicy which makes it wonderfully versatile. I remember as a child just eating it on a spoon, or spreading it on toast like jam. Apparently I was an odd child!

After we finished our canning for the day, my Mum and I had a coffee. We reminisced about the old farm and her vast gardens. And then she teared up, “This is the last relish I will ever make. I’ve been making it for years now – ever since old Mrs. Ellis showed me how. It is too much work for me now. One pot of relish used to be nothing for me. Now I am so tired I can’t even sit up. I don’t think I am old – and then…and then…” She just sat there silent nodding to herself.

My Mum is a woman who tells stories of when she was 12-years old. How she worked from morning until night in a market garden, in eastern Europe, helping to look after the garden. Watering, hoeing, spreading manure(by hand!), picking vegetables, and anything that needed to be done.

She calmly tells stories of being a child and in the middle of WWII. She tells of the US Air-Force planes flying over and strafing the gardens, and the workers in the fields. “I hated seeing that white star on the planes because I knew I had to run and hide. It is why I wanted to immigrate to Canada when we left Europe. The only thing I hated more than that white star was the red of the Russians as they marched through and took everything we had left. Before they came we were poor – and then we had nothing.”

Here she is now in the peace of her own home, worn down by relish. Well, not exactly by relish itself – rather by time. The relentless passage of time that even when gently ticking past – takes a little bit more away each day.

So I gave my Mum a hug and said, “You know you don’t have to make the relish by yourself. And we don’t have to make as much – maybe just half the recipe. Call me when you want to make more and I can come down. I like the smell of relish cooking – reminds me of the old kitchen we had on the farm.”

She nodded. She smiled. “Yes, yes that would be good. But next year this year I am done. Except for beets. I still have beets to do…”

I stopped her, “Yes Mom, we can do the beets next weekend.” Then I paused and looked at her. “How many beets do you have?”

She pointed to the door leading out to the garage – where a half-bushel of beets sat waiting.

I laughed. “Why on  earth, Mom, are you going to pickle that many beets? And why so much relish?”

She looked at me with her usual fierceness when she was standing firm. “It is for the church – the ladies at the church need my pickling to sell at the fall bazaar. We need to fix the roof…”

“Okay, Mom, we’ll do the pickling. For this year. How about next year we get some of the ladies from the church to come over and help? And then they can learn how to pickle beets and make relish.”

She drank her coffee and looked thoughtful. “Yes. Yes that is what we will do. I should teach those ladies how to make relish. Just like Mrs. Ellis showed me. It is the way it is you know – when we can’t do it anymore we have to teach others so they can keep doing it. That way what we know will never be forgotten.”

Whenever I visit my Mum, I leave feeling like I have so much left to learn.  I used to think I had all the time in the world to learn it. Now I see time is winding down.

Le Clown Bares All!!

Le Clown Bares All!

Hello Peoples of the Blogs!

Today we were allowed a bonus challenge for the Le Clown Blogroll Challenge (Visit the home of Le Clown, and his blogging allies of Madame Weebles and rollergiraffe. Oh and a new addition Lame Adventures
(NOTE: Apologies to Lame Adventures for my poor wording in an earlier version of this post. The words implied a meaning I did not intend to convey and I am sorry for my poor choice of words)

The bonus challenge is to capture a picture of Le Clown in our daily voyage we call life. And to my surprise when I arrived home – there was Le Clown by my recreation room fireplace baring all with a bear! Okay maybe not baring. More browsing like. Still it was quite shocking!

A cute little little stuffy of a bear too…now I will never look at the bear in the same way. And eww is that chimpanzee saliva?

Clean-up on aisle recreation room…

Run cat run! Le Clown brings you fire!

SURPRISE BONUS: Le Clown provided me with my 1000th LIKE on MerlinSpielen.com – and on this very post! Le Clown is always  bringing joy to bloggers everywhere. He is like father-blogger-xmas…or something like that…

Le Clown brings me one thousands LIKES

Burning Clowns, Rolling Giraffes and Fearing Weebles

Clowned

Clowned (Photo credit: cogdogblog)

Hello Peoples of the Blogs!

Today the Le Clown Blogroll Challenge continues at the home of Le Clown, with the support of Madame Weebles and rollergiraffe.

Today’s challenge is to create some thoughts for a Le Clown picture! This is much more difficult than you can imagine. First there is the entire problem of defining “thought” from a Le Clown perspective. How can we know that Le Clown thinks at all?

My sense of Le Clown is he is a mystical creature of impulse, sensation and dramatic reaction. My first reaction when reading Le Clown is this is the result of a Poutine experiment gone off the rails. Bad gravy mixed with extra awesomesauce resulted in an explosion and a new life form arose from the cheese curd inter-mingling.  And then it was set on fire. There had to be fire otherwise why is Le Clown a Clown of Fire?

Finding thought bubbles for Le Clown shall be difficult. I think one needs to keep it simple. Yet twisted. Simply twisted - yes like a cinnamon bun. Oh wait that is simply rolled. Like a pretzel – yes yes. I will think pretzel thoughts and be one with Le Clown!

Madame Weebles for those that have not visited her site is best described as a breath of fresh air after the garden has been well-tilled and manured. She turns over new thoughts and spins on the world faster than a coyote injected with double expresso! And the best part is she sees dead people. Well not just seeing them – she interacts with them on a regular basis. Hmmm perhaps that is why the voice of her posts can suddenly change direction. She is possessed! Now I am afraid – even if I should Fear No Weebles. Yet…

And rollergiraffe. A woman of agile mind and quick wit. She takes the ordinary of life and turns it in to a delightful adventure. Read her posts and you will be in love with her in a few short sentences. Her wit is  a razor edge – and one second you are reading about the mundane trivialities of living and being a mom and a wife and a human – then wham the sharp edge leaves you bleeding with laughter.

There are a number of very talented bloggers fighting for the BlogRoll honours. Go here to see the current standings and visit their pages. Pick one you like and make pleasant remarks about them (PICK ME! PICK ME!). And on the challenge page say nice things about me.  Favours can be exchanged :)

You can scroll through the comments and read my “thought balloon submissions” on the contest page and leave smart-ass remarks about my humour. For your enjoyment the comments can all be found he

MerlinSpeilen’s Top Ten Thoughts for Le Clown Stuffling His face

Thought Number 10:
“Braaaiiiinnnss! Braaaiiinnss!”

Thought Number 9:
“I think I am going to puke all over the next table…”

Thought Number 8:
“I hope I know whoever is under the table…”

Thought Number 7:
“Our Clown-Father who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name…give us our daily panini with pastrami and deli pickles.”

Thought Number 6:
“System Failure. Shutdown in Progress. Le Clown 1.0 is now offline”

Thought Number 5:
“I think there was a hornet on the part I just bit.”

Thought Number 4:
“Oh no I think I am living the Dumb and Dumber burger scene…

Thought Number 3:
“Arrrggghhhh – I just bit my tongue…”

Thought Number 2:
“Oh this sandwich is awesome. Hey Wait a minute – is that a piano suspended above me? Weebles has set me up again!”

Thought Number 1:
“Oh Melanie Griffith oh oh –

re:

 

Conversation After Dinner

Apple pie

Dinner was simply lovely.

Thank you for letting me into your kitchen
Oh coffee yes that would be perfect

And now I think, I know
I should return the favour.
Would you say object to
letting me make you dessert?
I think I need a slice of pie

I’d need to raid your pantry
I hope you don’t mind
if I see what you’ve got.
Would you protest if
I turned your oven on?
Best to pre-heat slowly
as we find the ingredients
so we can bake something sweet.

Not too sweet you say?
Well I do like my dessert
just oh so slightly tart

Show me your pie dish
Oh yes that’ll do
Let me knead you some pastry
and line your lovely dish
The secret is not to overwork
just use the lightest touch

Those are lovely apples
would you peel them for me?
Then blend with sugar and spice
and whatever else might be nice
Yes there – oh and there.
Too much you say?
I’m sure it’ll fit in your dish.

Let me have a lick
oh that is delightful.

What’s that?
Your oven is ready?
Well what are we waiting for?
Let’s slip it in
and let it bake
golden and bubbly hot.

Oh that smells so amazing
it’ll be no time until
your buzzer goes…

Oh that was delighful
and well worth the wait
I hope you don’t mind
the mess I made in
my making you dessert.

What?
Another slice?
Oh certainly…

I think I’d enjoy that.

Parallel Lines

Railroad tracks "vanishing" into the...

Parallel lines remain the same distance apart over their entire length. No matter how far you extend them in the plane, they will never intersect.

disconnected
properly lateral
you sit across from me
eyeing the ordered space
that keeps us untouching
It lies between us
where no force of repulsion
will move us apart
and no power of attraction
can overcome our estate

I daydream imaginary
bridges spanning this plane
folding warping reality
into overlapping space
where parallel lines merge
converge connect into unity

Euclidean geometry
plainly unyielding
to my calculus
of imaginary numbers
holds us
equidistant
dimensionally constant
undeterred
we simply move forward
toward an event horizon
where even parallel lines
touch in infinite space.

 

LOST: One Brain – Hardly Used

Dear Readers:

I need your help. It seems I have misplaced my brain. I knew it would happen one day. My mom used to make note of that fact when I was a child. I would lose my jackets and shoes and lunch-boxes. You know those lunch-boxes with super-heroes painted on with lead-based paints and titanium oxide? Those ones. The ones that if you had grease on your hand the paint would dissolve and get absorbed into your skin and straight into your blood stream. You know. Those were awesome lunch-boxes. And the matching thermos! Oh those were the days…

If only I had not lost them!

Top Ten Most Valuable Vintage Lunch Boxes
These were from past vintage lunch box auctions
1. Superman (Universal, 1954) — $13,500
2. 240 Robert (Aladdin, 1978) — $4,200
3. Toppie Elephant (American Thermos, 1957) — $3,200
4. Underdog (Okay Industries, 1974 — $2,500
5. Dudley Do-Right (Universal, 1962) — $2,200
6. Jetsons Dome (Aladdin, 1963) — $1,650
7. Beatles (Aladdin, 1966) — $1,600
8. Bullwinkle & Rocky (Universal, 1962) — $1,600
9. Star Trek Dome (Aladdin, 1968) — $1,450
10. Knight in Armor (Universal, 1959) — $1,250

I lost everyone of those over the years. At least I think I did – if I could find my brain I could actually confirm that is the case. Unfortunately I have lost my brain. Just like my mother warned me – “If your head wasn’t attached you’d lose that!”

And so today I wander around without my brain – it seems it has ended up elsewhere.

I am rather attached to me brain. Well usually I am kinda attached that is – since right now we seem to be dis-connected. I am sure it is temporary.

If you do find it – or any trace of it – please leave me a note in the comments.

 

So what was I writing about anyway? I don’t remember. Oh well time to publish…

And the coffee might be good…oh  coffee…coffee goes into cups. I love cups. Cups are lovely and hold delightful beverages. Hot perked treats in hand-held convenience. The best things in life come in cups.

 

 

Before Sunrise

here we lie me and you
on green hilltop
in morning dew

wrapped in blue twilight
nestled into each other
feeling this is right

simply enjoying
here
now
this

then bless
the morning
with our kiss.

indifferent

hard as fired nails
soft as porridge
you hear ignore
my broken voice
you see past me
as you drift by
turning away
to move on
leaving me
invisible.

Compulsion

End of day relaxing
I think I am okay
calm
centered
controlled
today I will not yield to
that urge
that itch
that avalanche
sweeping over my restraint
that wanton need
that needful want
that compulsion
to feel your skin on my skin
as you leave your scent on my skin
as you trace your lips on my skin
as you do with me as you please
and as I please myself with you
together pulsingly pleasing teasing our pleasures.

After in the eye of the storm
clinging quivering
we’ll swear and promise and curse
no more
no more we cannot
no more

Knowing where we will be tomorrow.

Tarnished

Deutsch: Alterungs-Patina an Bronze

I require no polishing
to make me sparkle for your eyes.

Times patina clings dully
shielding exposed surfaces
in a cocooning layer of green
leaving hidden strength
protected far beneath.

Leave me weathered
to leave me whole.

Some Simple Truths

There are things we know without learning
basic truths
breath slowly
drink when thirsty
eat when hungry
love like there is no tomorrow

Niagara Falls in Kodachrome 2010

yet we forget these simple truths
forget to breath
eat to much to fast to often
forget to drink or to stop
think that love will wait until tomorrow

Why should it be so hard to live
what we know to be true?
Instead we hold it inside
cherished bits of regret
tinted brightly with guilt
of a thousand laments “Oh if I only…”
Breathed as I might;
Loved as I could;
Eaten as I should;
Drank as I would.

If only I had been alive.

They Ride Toward Death

They awoke by first moonlight
saddled three horses
muttered old prayers
fog from the fens
masking their plans

They dashed madly
across the moorlands
scattering shattering
One riding east; one west;
one north; None south
for that would be madness

Beasts waited for them by moonlight
knew the plans before the riders
hulking shadows in the fog
slashing ebony talons
splashing crimson life
dashing hope
screams from east
screams from west

One alone rides northward
into the gathering cold
they follow him now
insatiable
relentless
toying with him
as he toys with them
leading them to the chasm

He slows drawing them near
keeping their focus
on this hunt and
the heat of his blood
luring them away
from where he came.
each moment he lives
another moment for the ones
creeping silently southward.

Ahead looms sharp cliff-edge
behind him they chortle
thinking they have him.
He smiles.
His horse is weary
slathered in foam
she stumbles falls
he tumbles runs
while they ravage savage
the screaming beasts
gorging on her blood.

Her death buys time
to make the cliff edge
draw his steel
and mock the monsters

They are blind from
the scent of blood
as they swarm him
razor cuts across
his hands and face
He collapses backwards
laughing taking
them with him
into the abyss.

Sunrise finds
black crows
circling
broken remains.

 

Graceful Pirouette

Shoulders rigid in anger
she burns me with her glare
straightens her attitude
gathers her skirt

At the banister
she stands retiré devant
catches my eye with her poise
pirouettes to the landing
descending the stairs gracefully
she pauses tilts her head
finally speaking her mind

“Fuck off.”

then continues her elegant departure
leaving me breathless in wonder.

We Stood in the Rain

Life accumulates
until we discover ourselves
organizing boxes of chaos
sending old photos
scattering smattering
across carpet

There we are frozen in Kodachrome
on the edge of somewhere
long rotten forgotten away
waiting for someone someday
Do you remember?

drenched in summer rain
dripping with life spice
laughing at absurdity
holding hands like lovers
Do you remember?

We stood in the rain
shivering quivering in wind
kissing forth warmth
into each other
slow motion lingering
Do you remember?

Later we huddled cuddled
naked under blankets
while our clothes dried.
Do you remember?

I had forgotten it rained.

I Am Only Broken

Once long ago
I was complete
fully intact

Some yesterpast
I was human
fully endowed

Then you removed
parts of my soul
bits of my heart
pounds of my flesh
slice by thin slice
you reshaped me
And reformed me
Pygmalion
and Frankenstein
to be your dream
and my nightmare.

dissatisfied
with the results
you discarded me
as defective
curbside pickup
I forsaken
unusable
catastrophic
detritus of
human failure

You can’t be real
- expecting that
I would forgive
every slice
ignore each small
amputation
forget the pain?
I am still here
waiting my time
I didn’t die
or disappear.
I’m only wounded
I’m only broken
I’m only mad.

Completely mad
and fully able.

Duet from the Neighbours Above

The old bed moved into the guest room, aka &qu...

eeeeeee-ooohh
eeeee-oooohh
eee-ooohh eee-ooohh
ee-oh-ee-oh-ee-oh-eee-oh-oh
OH DAMN!
eee-thumpa-ee-thumpa-ee
thumpa-thumpa-thumpa
eeeeeee-ooohh
ee-oh-ee-oh-ee-oh-oh-oh
KLUNKA KLUNKA
OH OH OH

Why I am a Failure – for Today.

Jane's Double Twisted 3D stars2_rev

There are some mornings when people shouldn’t get out of bed. And by people I mean me. I should have stayed in bed today. I should have stayed in bed all week. Yes the week only started yesterday – today being a Tuesday and all that entails.

First there is the mundane. I need new things. I won’t get into the list of “things” that need replacing. Just be assured there is  a list – and a growing list. From the mundanely trivial like: how is it my socks all have holes in them? Is anything made to last anymore?

Next there is the state of personal relationships. Oh god. How the hell do I manage to create the most complex interpersonal relationships in the world? It must be that I am attracted to interesting fascinating complex people. Complex being the predominate word here – cause well a simple relationship is apparently beyond my capacity to generate. No “me Tarzan - you Jane!” leading into the obvious “hey Jane – want to swing on Tarzan’s vine?”

And finally would be just about everything else in my world. Finances, career, projects, kids, aging parents, high blood pressure, stress, stupid politicians, and on and on and on. Oh and Facebook. In the end everything is always the fault of Facebook.

Or at least the fault of the internet and instant communications and the ability to be always connected all the time. And so after avoiding the whole real reason I am a Failure (Today) I just gotta learn to self-edit. Just because one can instant message – does not mean one should instant message. This is the key lesson of the modern connected world: timing is everything.

And apparently I have no sense of timing. Or appropriateness. But really in any relationship when is it a good time to bring up that fetish? Too soon and your maybe-baby is heading for the exit before you get the details explained. Wait too long and well there is the regret in finding out you could have been enjoying your fetish – and their’s too – for weeks already. Oh wait did I just say too much? Again? Forget you ever read this paragraph. Nothing of a sort happened. And those? Those are not mine.

At this point I’d say I am going back to bed – but you would read that the wrong way now. So there: I am definitely not going back to bed if you catch my drift. No! – not drift in that sense of the word. See what I mean? See how bad this is getting – my double-entendres are now performing triple duty and that just gets messy and leads you astray. Although if you enjoy that we could arrange to meet later.

Worst of all, I have nothing to write about. Complete and utter blank. Zilch. Seems to be going around this week – maybe too much summer fun? Don’t go there!

Tomorrow is another day – and fortunately the middle of the week: hump day. The rest of the week has to get easier.

"Lodgings to let" "Cartoon show...

“Lodgings to let” “Cartoon showing a fashionably dressed man standing in a well-furnished sitting-room, speaking to a pretty and elegant young woman. He wears a tophat, Hessian boots, and carries a large rough walking-stick. He says: My sweet honey, I hope you are to be let with the lodgins! She answers: No, sir, I am to be let alone.” color engraving (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Brain Freeze

Milk Shake @ The Garret Secret Bistro Bar

Smiling you offer
me that delight
I cannot refuse

You watch as I
with bowed head
explore the treat
exposed before me

first gently tasting
exploring in
increasing
hungry urgency

eagerly I slurp
greedily I suck
at that delicate
round opening

It feels so good

liquid delight
sweetly sliding
past my tongue
every sweet drop
surging past my lips
filling my mouth

hitting on that spot
leading to explosive
shuddering and
gasping of
Oh my God
Oh my God

Freezing milkshake
chugged through a straw
has painful consequences.

Haunting Dawning

English: An artist's visual representation of ...

night crumples down around me
blackness clasps me dearly closely
calls me friend and lover
tells me there is no other
silently quietly tenderly
whispering nothings
until my eyes are closed
then creeping as I’m sleeping
seeping leeching into my brain
bleeding leading my dreaming down
crevasses and sewer drains
tentacles slathering past
in pitter pattering fears
scitter scattering near
babbling there
scrabbling here
grumbling bumbling
leaving me heaving me
restlessly tossing
under Morpheus’s spell
I drift between delusions
and nightmares of
pregnant voices cursed with prophecy
virginal blonde demons chanting
“you are running out of time
you are really past your prime
Cthulhu comes to claim your soul
pulling you down to his black hole
It is time!
It is time!
for us to wine and dine…”

In dawning cold grey
I awaken
unable to move speak breath
beetles crawl over my skin
tangled in damp sweaty sheets
clock blinking consecutive zeroes
while disdainful cat eyes stare
in baleful judgement:
coward!
Why were you even alive?

flies buzz awake
join the chorus
of ghostly voices still singing
“you are running out of time
you are really past your prime
Cthulhu comes to claim your soul
pulling you down to his black hole
It is time!
It is time!
for us to wine and dine…”

Confusion

The less I knew
more certain was
truth
and love
and honour

The longer I live
The more I read
The more slips into my head

The harder it
becomes to know
truth
and love
and honour

Just think of
all the bliss
I have missed
in abandoning
ignorance
and embracing
informed confusion.

Free Fall

Free fall

(Photo credit: Nney)

Inside myself
finding cliff edge
feeling sharp break
between known and unknown

It is safe over here
why would I go there?

her smile pulls me
dammit
why is this so hard?

I step into destiny
plunge downward
hurtling
fast
as
g
r
a
v
i
t
y

free falling
kinda like flying
except for
the landing

Busted Blues

English: Metrobus 578 (YT09 BKV), a Scania Omn...

 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I ain’t got me no car
so I can’t get to far
still wanna see my girl
take her out for a twirl
dance her across that floor
and later something more
when it is after dark
if you follow my arc

Hello big bus
driving on the road
ahead of us

hey there mister driver
come on take me to her
Won’t you please take me there
yeah I ain’t got the fare
hey no need ta be that way
just cause I couldn’t pay
come on and help a dude
no need to be so rude

Good-bye big bus
driving on the road
away from us

When you come back this way
bring her back here to play
just want to taste her lips
and watch her sway those hips
as I take her for that swirl
and let our night unfurl
there no body like her
never gonna be diviner

Hello big bus
driving on the road
back to us

Did you bring her to me?
Oh man where could she be?
look there – I see her now
that smile hits me and how
all the street lights go dim
angels sing me that hymn
showing me some paradise
night’s gonna be so nice

Good-bye big bus
driving on the road
away from us

I don’t need you no more.

Beautiful Blogger? You talking to me?

Apparently I am a Beautiful Blogger! I am rather astonished at this designation – as well this the first time the word beautiful has ever been applied to me. Okay technically it is being applied to my writing – but really who am I to quibble over such details?

Beautiful Blogger Award

Beautiful Blogger

I would like to thank The Geisha for nominating me for this award. I really appreciate it. If you want to view the full definition of Beautiful check out her blog at: 
http://dailyblends.wordpress.com/

Now here comes the tough part….Nominating Five (5) others that I think are also Beautiful Bloggers. And also have not already been told!  There are so many wonderful blogs that I enjoy reading. And 5 seems like such a small number!

  • Single Again - This is a personal healing blog by a woman going through a separation and heading towards a divorce. She writes with a purity and honesty that I find both compelling and thought provoking.
  • don’t forget to feed the baby - A blog about life – and how to laugh at life. Kathy V. is just one fine human being – and her blog is what I’d like my blog to be! I’m working on it – but Kathy is always ahead of me.
  • The Bradley Chronicles – A recent discovery and I have been enjoying reading his crisp evocative poetry and short fiction. Well worth the visit!
  • Nat’s Blog – A personal blog about self-discovery and personal healing. We all carry wounds from the things that break in our lives. Some of us have much more healing  - and I find Linata’s raw honesty inspiring.
  • Scrambled, Not Fried –  Another recent discovery – and it is a blog of beauty and wonder. Go there and be amazed!

So that is five – and I feel bad that some really fine blogs had to be left off this very short list. If I follow you I do so because I enjoy reading your work.

If these Bloggers are new to you – then please give then a visit and read their work!

Failure to Engage

104/365 Kimono Girl

(Photo credit: photography.andreas)

I must be doing something wrong here. The “here”  being blogging, and the wrong part being keeping an audience.

In theory I have around 180 followers at this point – at least according to the tools and stats of WordPress.com. I am now getting over 70 views per day – which considering I am writing mostly personal thoughts and poems is actually pretty darn good.

My audience wanders in attracted by the title and the opening line – and then wanders away again. Looking at my stats for the last few days I can see people are just reading the new post and then leaving. They usually don’t browse around. They mostly don’t look at previous posts. And rarely do they click on any other links. Just in and out – wham bam!

Now WordPress.com doesn’t seem to provide tools to show how many of those are actually repeat visitors. And knowing that people are coming back would certainly change my concern.

The problem is I get very little feedback from most of my visitors. No “likes”, no “rankings”, and no comments. There are my few regular commentators via facebook (thanks friends!), and there are a few wonderful bloggers here on WordPress.com that I know will visit me daily and leave a comment (you know who you are UnfetteredBS and Santu Online!). They do keep my writing on track for my goal of  a daily post for one year.

So here is my question: how do I get people to leave more feedback? How do I get more engagement on my blog? I guess I am just jealous of the other bloggers I follow and their 10, 20, 50 “likes” and “comments” on their most recent posting.

Yes indeed it all boils down to my pride and vanity whining – ‘I writes good too!’

Blogging is an Awarding Experience!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Sometimes it is good to say things three times. For one thing you can be sure people heard you. For another it stalls for time while you think of something clever to say. And sometimes that stall really really really pays off with a big delivery. AND I got nothing. Well other than a BIG Thank you to Kath V over at Don’t Forget to Feed the Baby for honouring me with the Liebster:

The Liebster Blog Award is given to people with fewer than 200 followers, by their blogger peers.  Yes indeed we are a circle of Peers. Why we are like the Knights of the Round Table.  So in fact we are brave and peerless knights.  Which  kinds defeats the point of having the round table of peers…

Of course like any award given freely and without compensation or reward. erm yeah blogging does not pay very well. In fact it mostly pays nothings. In fact it actually costs money, and time and sweat and blood. Well maybe not so much the blood part. That was due to my peeling potatoes and trying to type a blog entry at the same time. Multi-tasking – not a real human skill.

Anyway since blogging doesn’t pay what we do is run a peer award system that is really a blog chain mail pyramid scheme to drive traffic to one each others sites and feel good that are daily hits are climbing! Note the use of the word chain mail – see we really are blogging knight! And so for my contribution to the chain mail effect – and also out of real respect for some excellent new blogs – here is my list of new Liebster honourees!

Oh wait first I must speak the Liebster Rules for all Liebsterites to follow

  1. Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog.
  2. Link back to the blogger who presented you with the award.
  3. Copy and paste the award onto your blog.
  4. Present the Liebster Blog Award to 5 bloggers with less than 200 followers.
  5. Let them know they have been chosen by leaving them a comment.

So, with that , I selected the following blogs to award with the Liebster.  In no particular order, they are…

  • Theodore Theodorides – A thought-provoking blog on world issues and current events.
  • Grey Zone Docs – Disaster Tourism at its finest. You think people rubber neck at car accidents? Well just think how many people will flock from miles away when you get a nasty hurricane. Katrina may be 10 years ago – in New Orleans it is still today.
  • Cricket Muse – A writer writing about writing and writers. Oh that sounds so meta in concept – and it is all so delightful and playful in delivery. One of the first blogs I wandered across and one that I think more people should visit and read!
  • HulyaY - A recent discovery and part of why I enjoy blogging is the diversity of culture and knowledge. This is a new blog with posts in Turkish and English – and I am just learning so much about looking at the world in other ways!
  • Naznia – Awesome links and cool web finds and thoughtful words.
  • UnfetteredBS– Oh is that 6 :) Yeah I know UnfetteredBS already has the Liebster via the Shushing Nun   I just had add her name here cause she is funny and poetic and she willing offers unfettered BS to any and all. What more could one want from a librarian?

What you are still here reading – Go! Go now and  read my Liebster honourees. Keep blogging folks!