What is being read
- Feast of Leftovers: Prime Rib Soup!
- Spring has Sprung a Leak
- More Fear of Apples: Malusdomesticaphobia
- Days: March 11th (Romeo and Juliet Marry)
- Sorrow on Fire: The Clown is Gone
- Days: March 10th (Louisiana Purchase)
- Poem: Stalactite to Stalagmite
- Happy Birthday to My Dead Father
- A Fear of Apples
- FF: Monument
COPYRIGHT&DISCLAIMERAll poems and blog posts on this site had been created by Stephen Mumble unless otherwise stated. Do not copy, download or print anything published here without written permission from me. Anything I have written should not be taken as historical truth or fact. It is simply my thoughts expressed as creative writing. You may link content as long as you acknowledge my copyright. Thank you @Copyright Stephen Mumble 2010 - 2014
Tag Archives: HumorImage
Did I get your attention with my heading? Yes I said there are no gay rights. I also really and fully believe there are no women’s rights. Not even any black rights. And you guessed it no native rights.
There are also no men’s rights, no christian rights, no left rights, no centre rights, right rights, back rights, or whatever rights. No elder rights, sitting rights or standing rights of any kind. And very specifically no old, white man rights.
There are only Human Rights. We are all equal. It is really that simple. Every adult member of our society should be able to decide which other adult member of society they choose to love. Who and how we create our family circle is up to each of us as individuals. The state has no business in our bedrooms, or any other part of our homes when it involves choices made by capable and consenting adults. If laws are made they must be made to apply equally and fairly and without discrimination to all members of society.
Nor does the state have any right to any part of your body. The government can set consequences for situations when people harm one another. And the government can set rules for how money and property is shared and managed. But the government has no concern with my pound of flesh – with or without the blood included.
Now I realize that while it is that simple – the reality is it is hard to make real. The way we behave in the world is shaped by our thoughts. And the hardest thing in the world is to change the way we think.
Still I would ask this: TRY.
Step back from demanding your own rights just for you. As much as each of us is the centre of our own world, we are but brief parts of the the entire cosmos. Try saying this out loud:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all humans are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
Pursue your own happiness and stop stepping on the happiness of others.
A few days back I posted about my morning interaction with another driver I called Mr. BMW. This morning I had the pleasure of interacting with Mr. BMW all over again! Given we obviously are working in the same general area, with approximately the same start times it probably isn’t unusual to encounter the same morning commuters.
Mr. BMW must have spotted me as he drove along and I guess I left an impression on him from the other day. He zoomed past me on the right and then squeezed in front of me. I had to brake to make sure he kept his pretty lights intact. And then he proudly waved me the bird as he slowed down in front of me. Oh I had to admit he had me now. Well – not really.
Traffic was rather constant and so there was no way we were really getting anywhere fast, so his slowing down the centre lane was rather amusing. I switched to the right-lane and he zipped without signaling in front of me and slowed down some more. How impressive. Sorta.
Now the great thing about urban areas is there is always more than one way to get somewhere. So while his display of alpha-male domination was so impressively annoying, I simply turned right at the next set of lights and made my own path forward.
Life is kinda like that as well I find. Sometimes there will be obstacles and roadblocks ahead and you can choose to struggle and plow through them. Sometimes those obstacles are best avoided by simply finding a new path. In the end the destination remains the same, and while the new path might be slightly longer or even slower the journey ends up being so much nicer.
Take the time and be nice to yourself!
- Being An Asshole Can Be Fun! (merlinspielen.com)
- Road rage caught on victim’s dash cam in Los Angeles (abclocal.go.com)
- On Road Rage (juliegassaway.wordpress.com)
- In honour of what will likely be the ninth circle of hell… (theartzienerd.com)
I woke up today kinda blah and low energy and dragging my ass. Maybe I shouldn’t drink coffee so late at night and expect to get a good sleep! So I did my usual morning ritual of getting ready for work, getting the kids off to school and etc etc etc…
Same old same old Friday. And feeling as gritty as sandpaper.
So I get to the point in the morning ritual and chauffeuring of my offspring where I am now alone in my car driving along listen to the radio and the morning news and blather. I am still kinda blah. Not quite grumpy but still rather sullen. As is typical of the morning drive traffic is busy – and well the traffic lights are out of sync! Stop and go here we come!
So I see ahead a stale light waiting to change and I decide at that moment to just go with the flow of the moment and drift at the speed limit into the impending yellow, and stop for the red. Behind me the guy in the sporty new BMW gives me a small honk – well cause he thinks we can make the light. And if I had just slightly accelerated I could have coasted through a very stale yellow. BUT now I am in the “honk-zone”. Tap your horn at me buddy for no real reason – well hah on you! I’m the car in front. You can follow my arrogant bumper.
The light turns green and off I go – but no morning rush jack-rabbit start. A nice smooth constant acceleration. I can see behind me the dude is getting all hand-wavy – and I am feeling kinda a pleasant asshole buzz building. Oh this is good.
So I should explain this is a three-lane roadway into the downtown area. I am in the middle lane and Mr. BMW is close on my bumper. The speed limit is 60KM – and I am already doing 60KM and still accelerating. The traffic to our right is actually fairly light but people are pulling over to turn and do quick car-pool drop-offs. To the left it is steady but no faster than I am. Mr. BMW flashes his lights at me so I will switch lanes. Apparently he needs to be somewhere fast. I am still accelerating ever so slightly and now at 65KM (in a 60KM zone) and I can see to the right it is clear BUT someone is about to pull over for the quick drop-off. Mr. BMW is so focused on me he doesn’t see this and does the quick pull to the right to do a lane-change and pass-me.
I pretend I don’t see this and keep accelerating. Now the reality is I haven’t really slowed him down – I just haven’t sped up or pulled over like Mr. BMW wants me to do. It is possible he has some greater need than I do this morning – but really I don’t care what his reasons are now. He honked me – so here buddy honk this! At this point I am now doing 70KM in the 60 zone. I also know that there is a major crossroad ahead and I can see it will be red well before we get there. Mr. BMW is on my right and wanting to zip around me as I keep accelerating – and then he sees that ahead the car I thought would pull over has done just that. I am full on smiling now because I am being such an asshole to Mr. BMW. I could slow down and he might have just enough time to zip around me and the car that is about to block his path. BUT I don’t – and I keep my constant acceleration. Mr. BMW is forced to slow and drop in behind me again. He is now making some rather rude gestures at me.
Ahead we need to stop for the light and we are about 10 cars back from the light – so clearly we/he would not have made the red light even if I had been not been in ass-mode, and simply let him go ahead. But what was the fun in that? I coast to a stop and he cranks over to the right lane. He could pull ahead two cars – but instead he stops beside me and starts yelling rather rude suggestions in my general direction. He even names my behaviour correctly – calling me an asshole. And I am grinning like a cheshire cat as I bop to a tune on the radio.
I completely ignore him as he rants and screams and flips me birds for the entire stop-light. 30-seconds of free entertainment to start my day. I can see that the other direction is going yellow so just as our light goes green, I look over at him and give him a wave. He stops shouting with his mouth hanging open. I pull away while he sits there – and then he realizes he is in the right turn lane for the light and apparently he didn’t really want to turn!
He does some quick driving and lane changes and manages to pull in right behind me again – and also manages to get honked by the driver he just cut off. Past the next lights Mr. BMW pulls up beside me again and yells “asshole” as he passes me. I am now laughing. This dude has made my day. I am actually glad I did an asshole routine this morning. And the best part is I actually didn’t slow him down at all – just didn’t meet his expectations of what I should be doing. And it is now even better since I know that at the next light they are working on potholes in Mr BMW’s lane. The traffic in my lane is tight enough that he cannot pull over and then I coast by him as his lane of traffic slows to a crawl for the roadwork. I give him a proper salute as I continue on my way and slide through the light.
Ahhh – my day is now off to an excellent start. I feel all jazzed. Sometimes I can just be such a jerk – and sometimes I just don’t care!
So how did your day go today?
Every once in awhile I peruse my “Search Terms” list to see what people are actually randomly finding me. My number one search term is: Fear of Apples.
When I wrote my post on the “A Fear of Apples” I had no idea that it was an internet fascination. If you search for “Fear of Apples” I am actually number 5 on the search results with a link to http://merlinspielen.com/2013/02/18/a-fear-of-apples/
This is a point of pride, I am a front page search term. Okay so it isn’t thousands searching for Fear of Apples. Still I am surprised that it is now over 100 search results, and visits!
For those wondering there is an actual Fear of Apples Phobia it is called Malusdomesticaphobia, and it is the fear of all apples and can also be used when describing the fear of eating apples.