Tag Archives: Humor

Ramble: Watching the Traffic

The great thing about blogging is one can watch the traffic moving through the site. The ebbs and flows of readers wandering past what one has written. Overall, I really don’t get overly obsessed about what I am writing and who is reading. At least not like I did the first few months of blogging on WordPress.

When I first started my WordPress blog I became addicted to the traffic counts and the endorphin rush of “Likes”. ~OH GOD THEY LIKE ME!~

But I am over that now. Mostly. Somewhat.

Generally I get a steady stream of about 60 views per day. And since I don’t actively try and force that number that is really quite amazingly good! Thanks folks! From the search traffic it would appear about half my daily traffic is from search results sending people my way. My tagging is working!

What I do find puzzling is what gets “Liked” and what doesn’t! So today I posted POEM: Preamble in honour of National Poetry Month. It currently has 11 likes already. For me to get that many Likes in one day on any post I write is phenomenal! But the question is why?

It isn’t really that important a question or that compelling a puzzle – just one of those things that occasionally tweaks my brain and makes me go “huh – wonder why that might be?”

Oh and for those that are curious – I actually do not own a dog. That is all fiction.

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Wisdom 101: How to Make a Woman Like You.

Come close now ye young men, you lonely men, you single men, you older men. Come near. Huddle close – but not too close so that one might mistake us for comrades enjoying camaraderie.

You may fist-bump if you chose to engage in touching activities. But I would ask you to restrain yourself from further acts of frolicsome joy.

Ahh yes you ask what is the secret to a woman’s heart? Well that I cannot tell you. Being a social reject myself I have obviously not quite fathomed the plumbing of the fairer sex to such depths. What? OH no no – I don’t mean to say I have never plumbed. Plumbing I have done. And quite robustly I might add in my younger days. In fact I think I was quite the winsome plumber back in the day. But I digress in melancholy wistful memories of many decades  back in time.

Ahh yes plumbing. <SIGH>

OH right sorry I was distracted by well-preserved happy thoughts. Now I was going explain one of the great questions of every male who has ever had been smitten by the fluidity and grace of a female. And I am referring to humans in both instances.

How on earth do you Make a Woman Like You. Well good sirs…oh and the occasionally lady I see reading this – you too want to know the answer? Well this then is the answer. I will say it clearly when I get to it. It is actually quite simple.

You can not. Ever. Make. A woman like you. This actually goes beyond women. You can not. Ever. Make. Anyone like you. It is simply impossible to Make someone have feelings for you. The feelings they have are the ones they have. If they like you, they like you.

Now by persisting and insisting and demanding and wheedling and whining you can be guaranteed to make a woman NOT LIKE you. And again that applies beyond women. Just back off. Ease away. Step back. Stop.

What you want to do is find out if the other person actually likes you. Maybe even enjoys your company. This is much easier than making them like you (which I pointed out is impossible). So how do you tell if someone likes you?

Why it is obvious! Listen closely this is what you do: you simply ask.

Yes I know it is hard to ask – but the concept is easy isn’t it? You can start small – like ask how her day is going. Ask what she has planned for the weekend. Ask if she would like to do that something with you.

Ta-da. You are now blessed with some wisdom. See that was actually quite simple wasn’t it?  Go now – enjoy life.

I will sit here and enjoy the silence.

 

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Spring has Sprung a Leak

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There are No Gay Rights

Did I get your attention with my heading? Yes I said there are no gay rights. I also really and fully believe there are no women’s rights. Not even any black rights. And you guessed it no native rights.

There are also no men’s rights, no christian rights, no left rights, no centre rights, right rights, back rights, or whatever rights. No elder rights, sitting rights or standing rights of any kind. And very specifically no old, white man rights.

There are only Human Rights. We are all equal. It is really that simple. Every adult member of our society should be able to decide which other adult member of society they choose to love. Who and how we create our family circle is up to each of us as individuals. The state has no business in our bedrooms, or any other part of our homes when it involves choices made by capable and consenting adults. If laws are made they must be made to apply equally and fairly and without discrimination to all members of society.

Nor does the state have any right to any part of your body. The government can set consequences for situations when people harm one another. And the government can set rules for how money and property is shared and managed. But the government has no concern with my pound of flesh – with or without the blood included.

Now I realize that while it is that simple – the reality is it is hard to make real. The way we behave in the world is shaped by our thoughts. And the hardest thing in the world is to change the way we think.

Still I would ask this: TRY.

Step back from demanding your own rights just for you. As much as each of us is the centre of our own world, we are but brief parts of the the entire cosmos. Try saying this out loud:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all humans are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Pursue your own happiness and stop stepping on the happiness of others.

Part 2: Being An Asshole Can Be Fun!

A few days back I posted about my morning interaction with another driver I called Mr. BMW. This morning I had the pleasure of interacting with Mr. BMW all over again! Given we obviously are working in the same general area, with approximately the same start times it probably isn’t unusual to encounter the same morning commuters.

Mr. BMW must have spotted me as he drove along and I guess I left an impression on him from the other day. He zoomed past me on the right and then squeezed in front of me. I had to brake to make sure he kept his pretty lights intact. And then he proudly waved me the bird as he slowed down in front of me.  Oh I had to admit he had me now. Well – not really.

Traffic was rather constant and so there was no way we were really getting anywhere fast, so his slowing down the centre lane was rather amusing. I switched to the right-lane and he zipped without signaling in front of me and slowed down some more. How impressive. Sorta.

Now the great thing about urban areas is there is always more than one way to get somewhere. So while his display of alpha-male domination was so impressively annoying, I simply turned right at the next set of lights and made my own path forward.

Life is kinda like that as well I find. Sometimes there will be obstacles and roadblocks ahead and you can choose to struggle and plow through them. Sometimes those obstacles are best avoided by simply finding a new path. In the end  the destination remains the same, and while the new path might be slightly longer or even slower the journey ends up being so much nicer.

Take the time and be nice to yourself!