Ramble: My Horrible Poetry

Yesterday’s poem was apparently horrible. Awful. A stink of words gone bad. To those that let me know how truly sucky my sucktatstic poem really was – thank you I appreciate your thoughtful feedback. My apologies for not meeting your expectations. I will keep your critiques of my cadence and pacing in mind as I create other poems for your enjoyment.

Now don’t take that to mean I will actually write poems that you will enjoy – because truthfully you will not enjoy them. Not all poems must rhyme. Not all poems are lyric. Not all poems are about real things said in ways real people might say them. Some poetry is an attempt at using words like colours on a canvas. The words are not meant to have meaning; the words are not meant to mean what you have been taught they mean. Indeed when I use a word it means exactly what I want it to mean.

When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’
‘The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’
‘The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which is to be master — that’s all.’


In this case the entire point of that last poem was simply a really bad pun that would not leave me alone. It rattled in my brain for a day and a half of silliness and distraction before I finally pinned it to the keyboard and made it squeal. That last poem is funny. Even hilarious in a ribald sort of way. To me.

Apparently I write this stuff for free – and ya know caveat emptor when I carpe diem my quid pro quo.

quod erat demonstrandum via reductio ad absurdum.

Fini et exeunt omnes.


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Ramble: Fancy Hotels

I guess I haven’t posted in a while – so here is a little something so you folks know I ain’t dead yet. And yes that does mean you will have to hold off on the party for a little while longer!

Been travelling for work lately and usually I just stay at the low-budget kinda place so I have a little more spending money. Well this time the company did the booking; so here I am at one of them fancy places. Well you wouldn’t believe the kind of service you get in a better establishment. Soft bathrobes, warm towels, and people to answer all of your dumb tourist questions! I can see it is true you get what you pay for!

Some of the services are also real time savers. Like apparently all the ritzy hotels provide a turn-down service. Until yesterday I had never heard of this. So there I was when there was a knock at my hotel door door and a woman says, ‘I’ve come to turn down your bed.’ To which I replied, ‘Well that is normally what happens when I ask. Why should you be any different?’

Now I did have to tip her for that incredible service – but really it was a lot cheaper than the dinner and drinks that I normally have to provide before getting turned down!

So remember: cheaper doesn’t always save you money!

More Fear of Apples: Malusdomesticaphobia

Apples are an all-American success story-each ...

Every once in awhile I peruse my “Search Terms” list to see what people are actually randomly finding me. My number one search term is: Fear of Apples.

When I wrote my post on the “A Fear of Apples” I had no idea that it was an internet fascination. If you search for “Fear of Apples” I am actually number 5 on the search results with a link to http://merlinspielen.com/2013/02/18/a-fear-of-apples/

This is a point of pride, I am a front page search term. Okay so it isn’t thousands searching for Fear of Apples. Still I am surprised that it is now over 100 search results, and visits!

For those wondering there is an actual Fear of Apples Phobia it is called Malusdomesticaphobia, and it is the fear of all apples and can also be used when describing the fear of eating apples.


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