The world is complicated and cruel. I made this post after finding ClownonFire.com had vanished. This is my opinion of that blog and the blog posts. Since then I have learned there is a back story of tremendous hurt. I stand by what I have written in the context I wrote it – a lament for creative talent shredded. At the end I have added links to sites that contain some of the tragic back story that consumed the blog and the blogger.”
Today I discovered ClownonFire.com is now a blank screen. An Internet Dead-end. The place that proudly proclaimed “BECAUSE EVERY DAY IS FUCKING MAGICAL™” had ended the magic. And I am brokenhearted.
This is what I retrieved from the Google Cache for his Final Post:
Nothing is forever, and we are driven by our own demons, and ghost, and memories, and sorrowful clowns. Those inner memories and personas make us who we are, make us do wonderful and wise things. And make use suddenly veer of the path into uncharted waters.
I loved reading Le Clown in all his brash, rude, in-your-face, “I don’t give a damn what you think” craziness. There were times when his posts waded through undisturbed piles of feces, unleashing a vast unpleasant stink across the blogging universe. Ah the turmoil Le Clown could stir up with a well placed tweaking of the nose. To him nothing was sacred.
Le Clown played the role of Blogging Court Jester to the maximum. Overturning the holiest of cows in a flurry of sarcastic sardonic dark wit. Yes there were times he crossed the lines of “good taste.” But Le Clown wasn’t here to coddle the cowering, Le Clown was here to cause a ruckus. And in the process make us think about what it was we really valued in life. Le Clown made me angry. And Le Clown made me think.
There were times when Le Clown wrote of the troubled side of life, revealing half-healed wounds, and ugly scars of a lifetime lived, and loved. His posts on depression, on his relationships with his father, his mother and his current family, were tremendously moving glimpses into his life and the events that had shaped his worldview. While my life is quite ordinary and plain compared to the life of Le Clown, I understood and I could really relate to the emotional turmoil and pain he was describing.
Le Clown made me cry. Le Clown made me remember my own hidden sorrows and regrets. Le Clown opened doors I had long ago nailed shut. Le Clown was a bastard that way. And I loved him for that masterful disregard for the buried past.
Each of our lives are complex layers intersecting with the lives of those around us. When we are born we are imprinted with our first life experiences by those nearest and dearest to us. They shape what we value, and how we value. They shape how we love, and how we show love. The bottom line is the more turmoil and complexity we have in those early relationships – the harder it becomes to be ordinary. Le Clown was far from ordinary.
I do hope this is not the complete end of Le Clown the blogging personality. I certainly hope that Eric, the man behind Le Clown, continues his mad and wild creativity. Blogging certainly isn’t the be-all, end-all ultimate venue for anyone of his wit and talent. More than anything I wish Eric happiness and joy and success beyond his imagining.
Most of all I just want to say to Le Clown, to Eric: Thank You sir.
You made me think. You made me grow. You made me better for knowing you.
Farewell. Adieu. Take Care.
I will miss you, and I will hold out hope that one day Le Clown will reappear and knock over my apple cart just one more time.
Below are Blog Postings on Another Side of Le Clown
These links are not easy reading, and paint a troubling picture of the blogger behind ClownonFire. It seems Le Clown the blogger, is a very complicated man. It would seem that as much as Eric brightened my world, he brought darkness to other places. The dark unraveling is revealed here at CalamityRae’s Blog (now back online!) in her own words:
The other links below add more voices and history to the story.
- Responsibility of Blogging (illbeoutinaminute.com)
- outing le clown the magnificent the predator (behindthemaskofabuse.com)
- Angry Doesn’t Describe It (guapola.wordpress.com)
- Study of a Predator (lifeofafallenangel.wordpress.com)
- Le Clown Le Gone (1pointperspective.wordpress.com)
- Angry Doesn’t Describe It (carmensuarez.com)
- outing le clown the magnificent the predator (mythoughtsonapage.com)
- You Can’t Choose Abuse (onesahmscrazylife.wordpress.com)
- outing le clown the magnificent the predator (overitblogdotcom.wordpress.com)
- Bearded Hipsters (nickidaniels.com)
- What is Narcissism (thelifeofkylie.com)
- Independence Day (aliceatwonderland.wordpress.com)