A sudden realization has occurred – well maybe not so sudden since we are all aware of this truth: We humans don’t argue to to reveal the truth, we humans argue to prove we are winners. It isn’t about facts, it is all about winning and imposing our views on those we see as others; on those we see as the losers. At it’s heart debate is never about being right, and it is all about being righteous.
Yes that is right we are all inherently bullies; no matter how kind we intend our reign of tyranny, our goal is to impose our self-woven patterns of reality.
We desire victory so we can impose our version of order and control on the world around us, because by doing so we feel stronger; And feeling stronger makes us think we will survive. The most basic urge of any organism is to survive. The more any creature feels under threat, the more desperate it will become to win the battle. Triumph will always trump truth.
The same is true of human ideas and human ideals. The more those ideas and ideals are under relentless attack, the more the community that hold those ideas and ideals will feel physically threatened by the arguments thrown at them. You cannot change another’s mind by telling them they are wrong. You cannot destroy an idea by calling it names. If you feel the need to tell someone they are wrong – step back and ask:
“Why does this other think this is worth fighting?”
“What in their life has convinced them that this has value?”
Instead of having arguments we need to remember to have conversations. Instead of dismissing other’s as purely wrong or purely evil or purely cruel because we cannot understand their history of living, we need to step back and simply ask them:
“Can I buy the first round of drinks?; And you can tell me about your journey and how we ended up here today.”