Category Archives: Bully

Ramble: Triumph always Trumps Truth

A sudden realization has occurred – well maybe not so sudden since we are all aware of this truth: We humans don’t argue to to reveal the truth, we humans argue to prove we are winners. It isn’t about facts, it is all about winning and imposing our views on those we see as others; on those we see as the losers. At it’s heart debate is never about being right, and it is all about being righteous.

Yes that is right we are all inherently bullies; no matter how kind we intend our reign of tyranny, our goal is to impose our self-woven patterns of reality.

We desire victory so we can impose our version of order and control on the world around us, because by doing so we feel stronger; And feeling stronger makes us think we will survive. The most basic urge of any organism is to survive. The more any creature feels under threat, the more desperate it will become to win the battle. Triumph will always trump truth.

The same is true of human ideas and human ideals. The more those ideas and ideals are under relentless attack, the more the community that hold those ideas and ideals will feel physically threatened by the arguments thrown at them. You cannot change another’s mind by telling them they are wrong. You cannot destroy an idea by calling it names. If you feel the need to tell someone they are wrong – step back and ask:
“Why does this other think this is worth fighting?”
“What in their life has convinced them that this has value?”

Instead of having arguments we need to remember to have conversations. Instead of dismissing other’s as purely wrong or purely evil or purely cruel because we cannot understand their history of living, we need to step back and simply ask them:
“Can I buy the first round of drinks?; And you can tell me about your journey and how we ended up here today.”


Ramble: Spark

Where does it all begin?

That eternal nagging question of what was before I remember remembering?

There is the seed and there is the tree. Yet what comes first the seed or the tree? And does that even matter at all?

Isn’t there something before the seed? A mystery beyond our poking and measuring? A spark that ignites into being and life? A spark that becomes seed, imbues seed, consumes seed, and becomes root and leaf, transforms into tree, and in turns becomes spark for the next cycle of becoming and being.

What am I but a spark? Drifting in the darkness captured inside the dust of dead stars. Bond by gravity and weak quantum attractions to molecules and masses. What am I? Why am I?

Where do I go when it ends?

Ramble: Godless

godless(ADJECTIVE): Not believing in God.

I find the Oxford English dictionary primary definition of godless rather amusing: they capitalize the word god. Implying that godless is not to believe in the monotheistic Abrahamic God. Psst – it really is the lower case version of the word because it is general disbelief in god(s) of all stripes and flavours.

Looking at other dictionaries gets even more amusing since godless also means “evil or wicked”. “to be profane”. And a synonym of godless is atheist. A the joys of language – judgement passed without even making an accusation.

Now just to be clear I am not an atheist. An atheist is one who believes there is no god. It is an absolute conviction that there is no greater being, no creator, no primal consciousness of any kind. And well I just don’t know that, and I think we can never know the truth of that. And I think it doesn’t matter. That makes me an agnostic.

agnostic(NOUN): someone who does not know, or believes that it is impossible to know, if a god exists.

While I don’t know if there is a god at all, I am absolutely certain there is no such thing as a personal god. A god that walks along with you to guide and protect your life. After all, if god will protect me from all harm because of my faith, and protect your from all harm because of your faith. What happens when we go to war?

There could be a god, a creator, prime-mover. I just have no proof there is one. And even if there is one (or dozens) – a god has no need to spend their time monitoring and judging my actions. What a waste of an infinite mind to act as a cosmic voyeur tsk-tsking everything the little people chose to do in private. “Oh my god did you see that he put his thing in her thing and they had pleasure! And they aren’t even married”

That type of observation isn’t godly – it is simply being a peeping tom. Tsk tsk.

And in the end I guess that makes me godless. That doesn’t mean I don’t have an ethical or moral code to guide my life and my choices. I believe in the precept that we each should strive to “cause no harm.” Which is a great starting point until you end up in a conflict because you want cherry cola and I want plain cherry soda – and we can only have one bottle to share. One of us will be disappointed – and one of us will be “harmed” in some sense by that conflict. Yes it will be a minor snowflake of harm, and truly the single snowflake of harm is no great event. However, the infinite accumulation of snowflakes does tend to leave an impact of some sort. The point being that striving to “cause no harm” isn’t a complete moral code in itself. One needs more principles to navigate the complexity of humans and human interactions.

In that light my next guiding mantra is “find the greater good.” Sounds simple enough. And as slippery as all hell. What is “good” anyway? Who decides? How is it measured? And there you have me – I cannot completely define what “good” might be, or what makes something “better” than something else. Yet we all seem to have a shared sense of that concept of goodness; and what is harm. The reality is that sometimes in order to make things better there has to be a loser.

I am not sure I can take you any further in this ramble except to say there are no elegant perfect solutions to any of this. Just do your best to keep it simple and cause no harm whenever possible. And if that isn’t possible then share in the suffering.

Ramble: Nothing is Sacred – and that is Good!

No, nothing is sacred. And even if there were to be something called sacred, we mere primates wouldn’t be able to decide which book or which idol or which city was the truly holy one. Thus, the only thing that should be upheld at all costs and without qualification is the right of free expression, because if that goes, then so do all other claims of right as well.
~~Christopher Hitchens

Sacred is an adjective used to describe a person or thing worthy of worship or declared holy. Sacred usually has a religious context, however something or someone that has been set aside for dedicated purpose can also be sacred. Anything designated as sacred is considered to be untouchable, and inviolable. In an absolute sense any critique of that which is sacred is itself an act of blasphemy.

Blasphemy is the act of insulting; showing contempt; lack of reverence to a deity, to religious or holy persons or sacred things; or toward something considered sacred or inviolable. Blasphemy is by its very nature in the eye of the beholder. If I don’t think of an object, place or person as sacred then my lack of reverence cannot be blasphemy. Yet to those that hold an object, place or person as sacred, my lack of deference is clearly blasphemy. This disagreement about what is sacred and what is profane is the heart of all conflict. And how are we to judge what is truly universally sacred?

We are simply imperfect beings living in an imperfect world. If there is a divine being somewhere out there we have no way of knowing on our own what is inviolable. We have no proof of the divine, or even the message of the divine. We simply have myriad stories of what others have declared to be the ultimate sacred message. Zeus, Odin, and Mithra have been sacred, and now are mere mythologies. When faith fades and crumbles, it is clear the sacred transmutes into the mundane. Think of all those who died because the profaned Jupiter and Apollo – their deaths meaningless punishment for an imaginary crime.

This is why it is best that nothing is sacred.

That is not say we should display contempt towards the sacred beliefs of others. There is still the need for respect for other ideas, other thoughts, other needs. I accept that there are those that feel the need for “something more”, all I ask is that they accept in return that I do not and never will share those same beliefs.

There is no god out there that cares what we individual humans think or do. There is no god out there to judge us for our greed and stupidity. We humans own our own misery and cruelty. No outside agency is to blame for the raping and pillaging of the world. If the world is to be a better place, it will only be better because we collectively have chosen to make things better. It is our choice to live as a swarm of locusts on our mother earth, consuming everything within our reach. It is our choice to leave nothing behind but our toxic excretions.

Nothing is sacred. Everything is allowed. And in the end it is what we chose to do with that freedom that matters. It is the essence of human nature to rely upon the divine as an excuse for inaction: hey not my fault! Don’t worry god will look after the consequences.

It is all just excuses. There is no god that compels us to behave, or to do. Our sins are our own. We make the choices – and we own the consequences. Fully and completely.

Time to grow up people. Nothing is sacred. And you have no excuse for the mess you are making.

Ramble: I’m not white…but sometimes I play one…

It happened again. That funny question that irks and tweaks the underbelly of self-identity. “What are you?”

The snark rises and I stutter, “Ahh…”

The smirk flashes annoyance, “No I mean like where are you from?”

“Oh I am Canadian – born in Ontario. Not far from here…”

Interruption arises, eyebrows raised, “No I mean your people where are they from?”

“My parents were refugees, fleeing tyranny. And…”

A spark dawns and interjects before I can finish, “Oh you are Middle-eastern. Turkish?”

Now I am annoyed, and I can feel the emotions brush across my face and furrow my brow.

“How about I finish. They came from Europe. 1956. The failed Hungarian Revolution made my father realize he couldn’t stay because he would be arrested and tortured again. And my mother had just had a baby. So when the river froze in December of 1956 they walked across the ice to what is now Croatia.”

A nod. I see they are listening.

“My mother’s brother was in Toronto, so he sponsored them to come to Canada. And in July of 1957 they arrived in Quebec on a refugee ship. And…”

I can see the question coming before it becomes sound, “So you are European – cause you don’t really look white. Kinda Asian actually. Your almost black hair, and skin with a hint of colour and your eyes are almond which is why I said Turkish…”

My turn to speak up and over, “Yeah. Hungarian-Croatian. Well actually Croatian-Hungarian is more accurate. The village was mostly Croatian, but in the Hungarian side of the border. That part of Europe is a mix of people spilling between tribes and blending. I hear there is some Gypsy – Roma – ancestry in my genetic makeup. And some of the tribes that settled in the area had Asian and Middle-eastern origins.”

The other listens, and nods. And summarized my label, “So you are white then..huh. So hard to tell.”

I sigh, and reply, “Nope I am not white, but I’ve been mistaken for one before. I am human. And while my skin has a lighter-tone, my attitude is universal. The place of my birth, and the colour of my skin has nothing to do with how I have experienced the world, or how I think. My advice to you is top labelling people based on outward appearances. You cannot judge a book by its cover; Nor can you see the human inside the body if all you see are the shape and colour that they wear. Yes indeed we are each unique individuals; but close your eyes and open your ears! And you will be surprised to learn that we are all more alike, than we are different.”

I can see my words have offended, as they turn and move away. Truly they meant no harm in asking such an innocent question. Yet it wasn’t innocent at all, merely unthinking and presumptive. ¬†As I watch them leave, I can hear my mother’s voice in my head, “This is why you can’t have nice things – you always break them.”

Yes Mom, I do break them. Because I expect them to be better than that to begin with…