Conversation After Dinner

Apple pie

Dinner was simply lovely.

Thank you for letting me into your kitchen
Oh coffee yes that would be perfect

And now I think, I know
I should return the favour.
Would you say object to
letting me make you dessert?
I think I need a slice of pie

I’d need to raid your pantry
I hope you don’t mind
if I see what you’ve got.
Would you protest if
I turned your oven on?
Best to pre-heat slowly
as we find the ingredients
so we can bake something sweet.

Not too sweet you say?
Well I do like my dessert
just oh so slightly tart

Show me your pie dish
Oh yes that’ll do
Let me knead you some pastry
and line your lovely dish
The secret is not to overwork
just use the lightest touch

Those are lovely apples
would you peel them for me?
Then blend with sugar and spice
and whatever else might be nice
Yes there – oh and there.
Too much you say?
I’m sure it’ll fit in your dish.

Let me have a lick
oh that is delightful.

What’s that?
Your oven is ready?
Well what are we waiting for?
Let’s slip it in
and let it bake
golden and bubbly hot.

Oh that smells so amazing
it’ll be no time until
your buzzer goes…

Oh that was delighful
and well worth the wait
I hope you don’t mind
the mess I made in
my making you dessert.

Another slice?
Oh certainly…

I think I’d enjoy that.

Graceful Pirouette

Shoulders rigid in anger
she burns me with her glare
straightens her attitude
gathers her skirt

At the banister she
stands retiré devant
catches my eye with her poise
pirouettes to the landing
descending the stairs gracefully
she pauses tilts her head
finally speaking her mind

“Fuck off.”

continuing her departure with pure elegance;
leaving me breathless in wonder.

999 Names for Me

WARNING: There is very crude/explicit language in this because it is real language.

In My Room from the Bully Series
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At birth I gained
my very first name
from my Magyar grandfather
all three being
one and the same name
shortened down in affection
to Steve and Stevie,
Ist or even Pistie
I was
little one
wee one
sweet pea

Sticks and stones
can break my bones
and names can never hurt me.

As up I grew
I added bullhead
stronghead, stubborn mule
Sometimes simply
just another fool
Still at times a sweet-boy
good-kid, my mother’s little joy.

I became chubby, buddy
pig in the muddie
and reject retard slow gus
riding on the school bus
children hurling insults
just to be cruel
You look a little different
so you end up outside
looking inside
from the downside
kicked to the curbside.

By grade eight
and wearing glasses
over my eastern european
exotic almond eyes
I was four-eyes
blind-boy, clumsy oaf
chink and china-man
foreigner, aboriginal
yellow-fellow, chin-chan
learning to stand and fight
cause I wasn’t purely-white.

High school kicked it up
into the hormonal phase
of macho teenage noise
asshole, gay-boy, cock-sucker
chicken hawk, mother-fucker
you need your face smashed
ass-kicked, dick-cut
butt-fucked, you should be gassed.

Sticks and stones
can break your bones
and names can make you cry

Rejected by the cool kids
shunned by the jocks
I hung with the punks
and the party drunks
out by the funky blue-van
where I was accepted
included respected
labelled pot-head, weed-man
agent-orange, farm-boy, red-neck
while never ever doing a toke
or touching any funny stuff.

Still ethnically not blending
I was slanty-eyed, zipperhead,
half-breed, apple, buddhahead
redskin, yellowskin, mocha-blend
Squinty, tinker, twinkie
Having missed the racial mark
the insults headed north land
huskie-boy, sled-head, mukluk
dog-boy, Eskimo, igloo, nanook.

Sticks and stones
will break my bones
and names will truly scar you.

After high school was all over
and into the world of higher-learning
I was still mis-labelled
Fucking Skimo, slit-face, snow-blind
little lost ptarmigan, snowback
then things moved beyond
just how I kinda looked
bastard weakling dumb-ass suck-up
nerdy geekhead crossbred bithead
social retard gamer lamer
even called faggot
for writing all this poetry.

And the names still keep
accumulating like
unwanted re-gifts
seems I’m a fucking asshole
insensitive narcissist
aspergers autist failure
fatman lardass lazyboy
ultimate reject and so many more
but I think you get the score.

Sticks and stones
bruise deep – break bones
those wounds we heal
but names rend souls
pinprick black-holes
collapsing weighty gravity
never letting free
my true inner light
until it all implodes.

I selected this post to be featured on my blog’s page at Poetry Blogs.

Why Men Marry Bitches

I am doing some early morning shopping when I discovered a self-help book for women called “Why Men Marry Bitches” by Sherry Argov.

Really? The title is catchy and the author does define BITCH as meaning Babe In Total Control Of Herself. I guess that is what the marketing side of writing is all about. Coming up with a double-take title that makes you stop and look.

I should probably read it so I would understand how to find my own BITCH. Or would that be peeking at secrets of the sisterhood?

Just sharing my morning head turn 😉

The Acid/Alkaline Food Myth.

I love food. I love the smell, the look, and most of all the eating! Perhaps even a little too much on the eating side. I also like to read about the science of food, and the science of digestion and metabolism.

We humans are basically a biological amalgamation of complex chemical processes that  let us do some really amazing things! Our cells are tiny factories that not only perform essential life processes – they can also manufacture their own replacements!

Different cells in our bodies are renewed at different rates. The cells in your lungs are replaced every 6-weeks, your taste-buds are renewed every 10-days. The cells in your bones average 10-years. Many of the cells in our bodies are less than 12 years old! Some cells – such as brain cells – are never renewed. And others such as the cells in our hearts are renewed very slowly.

This renewal process is what keeps us healthy and vigorous – and as long as the replication process does not have errors we will continue to thrive. When cells develop errors this can lead to a health crisis. The most common type of “cell error” is called cancer.

Now there are many theories on what causes cancer, and how cancer can be controlled, even repaired. And since we are bio-chemical factories driven by what we intake (food, water, air and god-knows what else!) – it makes sense what we eat and when we eat might be part of the solution (or problem)!

So we have theories of anti-oxidants, and flavonoids, and mega-dosing of this and that, and micro-dosing of other things. It is quite the mystical intra-relationship of  fact, fancy, and wishful-thinking. And of course there is also that other complicating factor of mind over matter – and how what we believe can actually change us! Placebo effect anyone?

So it is with interest that I have been reading the theories of acid-forming vs alkaline-forming foods, and the health impacts of these food groups. Basically, the theory propounds that eating certain foods will change our body pH levels. Acid-forming foods will increase our body acidity. Alkaline-forming foods will increase our body alkalinity.  And we need to remember that “acidity is bad” and “alkalinity is good”.

Now acid-forming and alkaline-forming is not the same as a food that is acidic or alkaline before it is consumed. This is because the digestion process breaks the food down into various chemical bits and bites – and those in turn may be utilized in other chemical reactions.

It would then seem to be common sense that food would impact our body acidity and alkalinity. Except it turns out that isn’t how our metabolic processes work. There is actually a very limited pH range within our bodies – and our bodies respond quickly to maintain the optimal pH balance. Basically our internal pH is maintained between 7.35 and 7.45 on the pH scale. In other words we are slightly alkaline. Or, as I like to think of it, we are all mildly base creatures on the inside.

The acidity-alkalinity concept also takes a knock when we stop and think about the actual digestion process. We eat food and it drops into our stomach where the food is broken down by a very powerful gastric acid bath (including natural hydrochloric acid). The acid your stomach will dissolve zinc. The pH level of gastric acid is 1.5 to 3.5 on the pH scale.

Some of the acid is neutralized by reacting with the food, and any remaining acidity is countered in the duodenum by a neutralization process that basically dumps sodium bicarbonate when high acid levels are detected. The gastric acid is basically converted into salt, carbon dioxide and water. As the digestion process moves down the intestines – the pH level climbs back to about 8.0.

I won’t get into the full details of absorption of nutrients – but basically the nutrients from the food are broken down into rather basic forms that our body can  absorb. This is an important part of how we maintain our bodies – as not everything can be digested and absorbed. What we do absorb has to be broken down and presented in a form that can cross through the intestines into our blood stream for transport where it is needed in our bodies. What this means is we do not absorb a steak – we absorb the nutrients that make up that steak. What cannot be absorbed is discarded as waste.

Basically the digestion process ensures our body pH levels stays within the acceptable range. However, and this is important to know, our excretions may have higher or lower pH levels depending on what our bodies are discarding as waste. The fact that urine may be more or less acidic after eating a specific food does not mean our body pH has been impacted. The same is true about saliva. The measured pH level of saliva will vary depending on what you last ate, and the bacteria in your mouth.

However – a diet high in acidic foods means we certainly will force our bodies to produce more neutralizing chemicals. This can place a strain on our digestive systems and make us feel tired. And a diet high in alkaline foods will reduce the efficacy of our stomach acids and our digestion process may be less efficient. This may mean undigested food makes it into the large intestines where the many bacteria that share our bodies have a feast – and produce various waste products of their own. Oh bloating is such fun!

The  acid-forming vs alkaline-forming food categories in the end do very little for our overall internal body pH balance (since other biological processes regulate those pH levels). However, the food categories are probably an effective diet aid simply because they do encourage healthy food choices.Really the acid-alkaline categories are not much different that the traditional food guide based on recommended daily servings of vegetables and fruits, grains and meats.

And in the end if the acid-forming vs alkaline forming food groupings make your choices easier and healthier – well that is a good thing! Just don’t pay attention to the mythology that goes along with the groupings!