I want to be more than this tangled mess of feelings
You fill me with want and panic and sweet dread
Concrete shoes upon my feet pulling me down
Into the eternal green of wine-tossed seas
There is no hope
No escape from what I am
Once upon a time
I had dreams
Sweet as summer clover
Waiting to be mown
Raked into windrows
Dried beneath summer sun
Now I am fallow emptiness
Overgrown with scrub
Copse of young black willows
Bending flat in the wind
You are innocent catalyst
releasing demons long suppressed
I am winnowed chaff
scattered by ancient winds
across fields you will never see.
shattered the morning with coffee again broken mug patterns of ceramic and cream Guatemalan grind bitter black dreams it rarely ever gets better than this I used to think there'd be someone who would laugh along with me at my clumsy mess empty voice echoes off hot shower walls Ella Fitzgerald lyrics rinsing the blues drip slap staccato showerhead spray washing cold morning down through old pipes lonely is how I am solitude is what I have soft cotton towels warm from the dryer my only caress hollow spring rain on patio doors tip-tap trickle tapping inside my brain February fading flooding away discarded bags in gutter and drains store bought chocolate cupcake cellophane wrapped topped by wax candles six decades of stale wishes all blown away.
peregrine circling closer attaining perigee apology reaching rising missing apogee we are separated by a million years of evolution and muddied memory yet in perspective isolated disconnected we are not so so different.
droning delinquent doling discombobulated dodecaphonic dodecasyllabic dodecahedrons fuzzified faces full of phonetics farcically singing doo-dah dodo doodling poems doodad doofus doowopping doozies dollies and daises drooping in dumpsters finally done.
broken brittle bits branching up across over counter top and floor swift silent surface sweeping across down under cleaning out this mess endless cycle of pretending chaos might be tamed into order dish washer laundry machine vacuum cleaner humming weekend jazz and blues Monday is waiting.